Balance and Thoughts on being deaf

With the change to 2 aids, I have felt more clumsy than normal this last week and a half. It was believed the second aid as a side effect may help with balance, so I am hanging onto hope it gets better. Simple things like cracks and small lifts in the sidewalk, walking in a straight line in a crowd of people when I can't see the ground or ahead of me have felt more difficult than normal.


Another adjustment is that of my perceptions and feelings about being deaf.

As unrational as it may seem, I actually feel more deaf with 2 aides instead of just one. I would like to think I'm not always so superficial, but wearing 1 aide, I could always turn or let my hair fall a certain way if I didn't want to broadcast I was deaf, especially in pictures, etc.

The combination of the second aide plus getting my hair cut super super short means there's no way I can hide either aide. I'm also acutely aware the left one is THERE, so that doesn't help. In all reality the entire world may be completely oblivious and are only aware because I draw attention to it because of my own self consciousness.